Submitted by Karen D. Gill

MEMO:
To all enlisted primates,
MLO (Monkey Liberation Organization)
SUBJECT: How to capsize a room in five minutes



Now first of all I understand you may be on a leash. (This is probably due to past behavior that was less than desirable). That's O.K. it makes this operation that much more fun. You see your SH (this stands for significant human, nothing dirty here), will be on the other end and think they have full control. (hehehehe). You must pool all your strength and contain your energy until the collar is on and you are out the cage door.


Once you are put down the fun begins. Wait until your SH sits down and diverts his/her attention. Walk around the room and memorize where prized articles are for later procurement. For this operation I will list my articles of enjoyment, yours might be different. The timer is running: Let's begin!! Sweep controlled item (i.e., hand lotion) off of the table right in front of SH. Leap across the room and be ready to release the item.
When your SH gets to you drop the item and jump into the chair they were sitting in. The thing called a remote control should be within reach now. GRAB IT!! Try to get in one good chomp before SH reaches you. You must act fast! Throw the remote down on the floor, when your SH reaches over to pick it up jump unto their back and then over into neutral territory. At this point just sit still until the SH flops down for another rest.


(Hahaha) You will probably hear a small warning about being good. (They have no idea how good you truly are!) Slowly climb down, if your SH looks at you a small amount of lip smacking should put them at ease. Locate the VCR and go sit in front of it. Push the buttons that you already know release the secure item inside. Pull it out and make your getaway. Again drop this item as your SH approaches. WARNING: This next maneuver might get you put back in confinement. If you are really good you can aim for the highest shelf in the room. You can't believe the stuff put up there. Make a flying leap and grab
all you can get. If the shelf falls you will no doubt have a couple of minutes to secure your wish list items. Your SH will be trying to contain the remaining shelf items and before they get to you the loot is yours! There it is, five minutes of heart pounding, aerobic, reflex stimulating fun.


THIS DOCUMENT MUST NOT FALL INTO HUMAN HANDS!
Submitted by: Sergeant Lucy AKA Lucy fur